3 Positive Songs For 3 Negative Feelings

I believe that music can save lives. It certainly saved my life many times in the past. Whilst I was growing up, these were three songs that significantly helped me through some of the hardest times in my life (with a story behind them). 

DESPAIR

Miley Cyrus – The Climb

This song has had quite a big significance in my life. I was at school (Year 11) when it came out. It was a time where I just had enough of school and I just couldn’t wait to leave. I always had a dream my entire schooling life that I would one day escape this misery and become this successful person, to prove the bullies wrong. However, I never believed in myself back then. I thought I’ll never reach that end goal and always put myself down at every chance I got. Getting told I will never be successful didn’t help either. This song gave me some sort of hope. The lyrics really resonated with me and I actually listened to it. When I listen back to this song now, I remember all the times I felt like I won’t get very far, and then realise where I am now. It is such a great feeling.

Whenever you feel like you can’t do something or won’t ever get very far in life, do not stop trying. Don’t give up. There is no rush. You will get there one day. Keep doing everything you can to get there and one day, you’ll be living in that dream.

“I can almost see it. That dream I’m dreaming but there’s a voice inside my head saying you’ll never reach it…My faith is shaking but I got to keep trying. Got to keep my head held high…”

FEAR

Hilary Duff – Fly

Again, a trip down memory lane, school days. I was a big Hilary Duff fan , who wasn’t? She was a prominent figure in the charts back then. Fly came out in 2004. So, I was 12 years old! It is no secret that I had suffered with crippling anxiety ever since primary school and all throughout secondary school. I always loved singing and dancing but always struggled with the confidence to go and perform in public. I always wanted to join a band or join my school choir but we had to audition to get in at my school. I kept putting it off because I felt scared and nervous.

This song gave me huge amount of encouragement to just do it. Nothing was stopping me but myself. So, I did it. I auditioned for some sort school gospel thing but I didn’t get into that. However, I eventually joined my school rock band. Music was my passion back then and I had no reason not to pursue what I enjoyed the most. Even now, whenever I feel like my anxiety is stopping me from doing something, I listen to this song for a bit of encouragement and it really works. Even if you bite the bullet and fail, at least you know you tried and that’s the most important thing.

“Fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away. You can shine.
Forget about the reasons why you can in life and start to try…

…and when you’re down and feel alone, just want to run away. Trust yourself and don’t give up, you know you better than anyone else”

FEELING DIFFERENT

Sugababes – Ugly

One of the reasons why I was bullied at school was because I was different and also short for my age. It was easy for people to pick on me because I was small and I didn’t have the confidence to stand up for myself. Just a disclaimer, my anorexia wasn’t caused by bad body image. It wasn’t a superficial reason but being different played a part.

In school, I was basically an emo/goth/punk, whatever you want to call it. In a girls school, 97% Muslim/Asian, that was like I was from a whole different planet. I didn’t fit in or had any similar interests to anyone. I was an outsider – the odd-one-out. Back then, I was ashamed of being different. I hated the fact that I was short and I hated that no one around me liked the same things as me.

This song really helped me realise that everyone is the same but different. Individuality and being different is what makes us interesting, and we should never be ashamed of ourselves. It also helped me realise that looks can only get you so far, and people should only judge you for your personality. You can be good looking but an awful, horrible person. For me, looks is an important part of my life, but everyday, I work on myself and on my personality, trying to improve and be the best version of myself.

“There was a time when I felt like I cared. That I was shorter than everyone there. People made me feel like life was unfair….

Everybody talks bad about somebody and never realises how it affects somebody. And you bet it won’t be forgotten. Envy is the only thing it could be.”

Do you have a certain song that helped you through tough times or a certain emotion? Let me know in the comments!

Anti-Bullying Week 2013 (18th – 22nd November)

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It is Anti-Bullying Week this week and I have been wearing my BeatBullying wristband all week to show my support as I always say that trying to tackle bullying is something very close to my heart and something that I have been an advocate of in hopes to tackle this issue, especially in schools, making sure that young people do not go through school feeling sad and victimised like I did.

School should be a memorable time, full of happy memories. To me, it is often like “I did not enjoy school because those group of people were mean to me.” Sadly, I am sure many of you can relate to that.

I wrote a blog post a few months ago on how to deal with bullying and you can check that out right here.

Some of you have asked for a ‘My Bullying Experience’ blog post however, I am too hesitant for that at the moment but I will definitely do it sometime in the future so do look out for that.

I always stress to anyone out there who is being bullied, to speak out. Tell someone. It makes a big difference. Do not suffer in silence because if you do, it gets worse. You are not a ‘snitch’ if you tell someone. I always tell children in Primary school, be it my brothers, cousins or any child for that matter that if someone bullies you in school, tell a teacher straight away. Many of you reading may not be in school anymore but that does not mean you should not tell someone regardless.

You may think you can deal with it. You are an adult. You should be able to handle this on your own, right? It will go away. No. If you do not face up to it, it will not go away. Bullying can also take place in your workplace and I know a lot of people who say their boss or colleague is so mean to them yet they are afraid of standing up to them or telling someone in a higher role about that person because they think they will lose their job. What is the worst that could happen? If you lose your job, at least you got away from feeling miserable but it may be the other way round too. The person who is bullying you may lose their job. So, do not second guess what will happen. Always do what feels right.

If you know someone who is being bullied, help them out. Talk to them. Show them that you want to help them. Show them that you care. Stick up for them. Whenever someone stuck up for me, I felt like I was not alone. It made the situation more easier to deal with knowing someone knows what is going on and is there for you. You feel safer.

You are never alone. Always speak out.

Useful links

Bulling at school
Workplace bullying and harassment 
Nightline  
Beatbullying
Childline 

How To Deal With Bullying

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Summer holidays are now over and it is time for everyone to go back to school and work but for some, they may be dreading going back because of a certain bully or bullies. Bullying is something very close to my heart. No, not in that way. I have been a victim of bullying for many years which made me quite knowledgeable as to how to deal with bullies and made me want to help people who are being bullied because I understand how it can be like.

Bullying is a very serious issue and often occurs in school but it can also take place within the workplace.

Bulling can be…

  • Verbal or written abuse
  • Violence – including threats
  • Sexual harassment
  • Homophobia
  • Discrimination including racial discrimination
  • Cyberbullying – either online or via mobile phone

If you are being bullied in any way, these are some of my top tips on how to deal with the situation…

Tell Someone 

One thing I have learnt throughout my time of being bullied is that I stayed silent most of the time and because of that, my bullying experience still haunts me to this day. If you are being bullied, tell someone you trust immediately. A friend, a teacher, a colleague, your boss, a parent. You will get it off your chest and feel more safer. They can give you advice on how to deal with it whilst also help you stop the bullies.

Keep Calm

Do not rise to the bullies. If they are interrogating you, just try to stay calm and don’t fight back. That is what the bullies want – to get a reaction from you. Do not show the bullies that you are sad or upset. Ignore them and walk away.

Stay Away

Try to avoid the bullies if you see them around. If it is impossible to avoid them, do not look at them. Do your own thing. If they say something, ignore them. Show them that they are not affecting you, even if they are.

Focus on Something Positive

Do what you love and enjoy to take your mind off the bullies. Try not to dwell on it. It will only just make you more upset.

Avoid Getting Violent

I know sometimes it is so hard to stay calm and you just want to hurt them but if you become violent, it will only just make things worse. Avoid getting violent and threatening the bullies.

Stay With People

Finally, try not to be alone with the bully. Always stay with people. The bully is less likely to be violent towards you if you are around people.

Bullying can affect you in more ways than you may think. It can cause you to have serious psychological implications in the future. If you are being bullied and are (or thinking of) harming yourself or ending your life, I would suggest you seek professional help immediately.

Below are some links that may help you…

BeatBullying
Samaritans 
Nightline 

Always know that you are not alone. There is help out there.