(May contain triggering content)
My friend and I decided to book an Interrail trip around Europe this Summer. I decided to call this trip ‘glampacking’ as opposed to backpacking because we are in our 20’s and we are not students (well I am not anyway) and I had a healthy budget to spend on luxury accommodation. I do not want to go away for the first time in my life and stay in hostels. If you know me, you’d know that I am a rather glamorous person. I cannot stand uncleanliness and dirty environments. If I have to splash out on a nice hotel, with a nice view, a comfy bed, a clean shower, a gym and wellness area, then I would.
We were both quite weary about going on this trip because we both have physical and mental illnesses that limits our ability to travel but we decided to give it a go to try and not let our illnesses win.
The first day was like a slap in the face. We flew from London Stansted to Rome and when we landed, the weather was so hot and I immediately couldn’t hack it. First of all, my eating disorder was already quite bad. Second of all, I’m very weak and cannot lug my luggage around for too long as I get tired very easily, especially in the hot weather.
We went to the Colosseum on the first day we got to Rome. We decided to get a guided tour but it was so boring that we ended up not listening to the guide and seeing the sights ourselves. The weather was very hot! 40 degrees. I just couldn’t cope. Along with my eating disorder, hot weather makes me cranky and moody and somewhat rude to the people I’m with.
On the second day, we visited Vatican City to see the Pope (well not really!). We ended up getting a guided tour and again, it was very boring. Most people in the group just wanted to see the Sistine Chapel. We realised in the middle of the tour that the tour guide will not take us to the chapel until another hour!
We decided to ditch the tour and head their ourselves. The chapel wasn’t what we were expecting but inside was very cool, so it calmed me down a bit.
But as soon as we left and decided to take a rest outside and see the beautiful architecture, I got moody and cranky again. The hot weather made me sad and I craved to be back home to the UK. Bearing in mind, this was a long trip (10 days) and I’ve never been away from home for that long.
We also went to see the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain.
In Rome, or rather the Romans we came across, are quite rude to Brits. Brexit revenge perhaps? Plus, the language barrier didn’t help either.
So the next day, we headed to Florence by train. The weather was still extremely hot. We dropped our stuff in the hotel and planned our day. The city is very beautiful. We saw the Florence Cathedral. The buildings are so pretty and different. I passed some shops and I really wanted to go shopping. As I felt homesick, shopping is the one thing that calms me down when I’m sad or stressed. I realised then that my friend and I had different ideas for this trip. Yes, I wanted to sightsee and be tourists but I also wanted to shop and window shop as I’m a massive fashionista.
When you’re travelling with someone, there’s bound to be disagreements. As my friend didn’t want to shop and only wanted to see the sights, and I was still cranky and moody from the hot weather, I got angry and walked away, leaving her alone to sightsee herself. BPD got the better of me and I stopped eating. I headed back to our hotel to rest and when she finished, we met at the train station to head to Venice, with things still awkward between us.
Ever since this happened, everything started going downhill and I wanted nothing more to be back home.
Next stop was Venice. We stayed in a nice apartment, which I booked from AirBnB. We arrived in the evening so had time to plan the next day. Venice is a rather beautiful city. I love that it is surrounded by water. We travelled with the waterbus and saw the Rialto Bridge. We then got on the Gondola, a rather luxury type boat, passing all the major sights and also very small parts of Venice people rarely see.
Venice was definitely my favourite city I’ve been to in Italy and I would definitely love to come back one day, in the winter and that goes to Italy in general! Never going to Italy in the summer ever again!
This was our last stop in Italy and it felt like we’ve been there for weeks! We were thrilled to see the back of it.
Vienna, Austria (pit stop)
Next was a pit stop in Vienna before Budapest, after leaving Venice in the morning for an 11 hour train journey. We got to our hotel in the evening around 8pm and slept as we had another early morning to head to Budapest.
We left Vienna at 6 in the morning for a 4 hour train journey to Budapest. We stayed in a cute little apartment which was like a hotel with a reception and breakfast. When we arrived, we planned our day. We went to see the usual tourist spots including the Buda Castle and the Houses of Parliament.
After about 4 hours of sightseeing and the hot weather, we decided to head back to our apartment for a nap, planning to go to the Thermal Baths in the evening. As we were both so tired we overslept so we didn’t manage to go after all.
We came back to Vienna, this time for sightseeing. It was 20 degrees and it was raining. For me that was the perfect kind of weather minus the rain. After a week of heatwave, it was so nice to see some rain and cooler weather.
Again, we were both so exhausted so when we arrived at our hotel room, we immediately went to sleep. My friend has M.E and Fibromalygia including mental health issues and I have mental health issues too including an eating disorder which also causes physical pain such muscle and joint pain (osteoporosis), so I get tired in general so quickly and so does my friend.
When we woke, we decided to go and see a bit of the sights, but we weren’t going to stay out for hours. We decided to go out for an hour. We only saw the Austrian Parliament and then returned back to our hotel.
At this point, I haven’t had anything to eat for days as I was so scared and in a starvation high. My friend and I weren’t getting along still, so the only way I could cope with the pain of that was to not eat and exercise.
My friend had an unusual pain in her stomach so we decided to go to hospital to get it checked out. I was skeptical because we are in a foreign country and I felt weak as I obviously had no food in me for over 24 hours. All I wanted was to hide under the covers and sleep the fear away.
But as I am a good friend, I went with her to ER. We spent half the night at one of Europe’s biggest hospitals in Vienna and after getting the all clear, we headed back to our hotel at 3am.
We had another early morning to head to Prague so we managed to get some sleep.
Prague, Czech Republic
After an awful night in hospital, we managed to head to Prague. However, we did not see any sights. We got to our hotel and just slept the whole day. After waking up, we decided to cut our trip short and book a flight home the next day and not go to Barcelona, which was supposed to be our last stop.
As I’ve been very homesick and we both haven’t been getting along, I jumped at the chance to go home to finally see my family and my cat.
Overall, this trip has been so hard. I wish I could say I enjoyed it, but I didn’t for the most part. I have never in my life been away from home for this long so it was an experience. As we are both unwell in general, we knew it would be hard for us but we didn’t want to let our illnesses ruin opportunities for us.
However, we have realised it is difficult to go away together when both of our illnesses are so severe. There were times when I didn’t understand my friends’ severity and there were times my friend didn’t understand my severity. It was almost like a competition, trying to prove to each other who is sicker, when it was blatant that we both were as equally as sick as each other.
I need time to lug my luggage around. I need to stop for breaks and to reset. My friend didn’t understand that and snapped at me whenever I stopped. It made it so hard.
I find it incredibly hard to cope with heavy luggage, hot weather, walking too much, eating regularly especially in a foreign place when food is unknown to me, waiting a lot etc…which had annoyed my friend and made her angry at me. I cannot cope with criticism and someone yelling at me, so when I experience this, I stop eating and punish the person I’m with. A lot of people close to me always say I don’t act my age. I act like a stroppy teenager or a child. I haven’t grown up mentally that’s why. I still have so many issues I haven’t faced up to or tackled. So I am sorry if I don’t act my age. It’s hard for me like many things is hard for you.
Many times on trip I had panic attacks and nearly collapsed. My eating disorder got the better of me and I ended up exercising on an empty stomach a lot. I was angry at myself a lot. I was scared and felt incredibly alone. I felt like I had no one to turn to. Not even the best friend I went away with as she is battling her own demons herself. We said we will look after each other, but it didn’t work. Our illnesses are too severe.
I won’t go on a trip like this again anytime soon, especially not with someone who is equally as sick as me. I have realised for me, one place is enough. My family didn’t want me to go because of my health and maybe they were right. I do need to get better psychically and mentally to go abroad.
Anorexia and BPD wins this time.